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  • Writer's pictureMigo

Who am I? Who are we?

Updated: Aug 19, 2023

Who am I? Who is anyone for that matter? I’ve spent the past several years pondering that question. Guess what, I’m still pondering. I guess some people would call it self-discovery.

But who are any of us really? In our lifetime, do we ever truly figure out who we are? Or maybe figuring out who we are is a part of life’s journey? Perhaps an ongoing discovery? How does one go about truly learning who they are in a world, let alone think, when from birth we have expectations, do‘s, don’ts, how-to’s, opinions, and disclaimers, coming at us from every angle?

Everything that I can share with you about myself in a sense is really just information to give you insight into some of my life experiences. Some experiences that have played a significant role into influencing some of the layers I am composed of; my perspective, character, values, and beliefs. Even with that being said, are sharing these experiences necessarily telling to who I am? I can share a little about my life. Maybe that will speak to who I am?

I will start by sharing that I am a multi-medium artist, born into a Christian family, raised on southern traditions. I say southern traditions, because “we” myself and two older brothers knew better than to respond to questions from our parents with “huh? or what?” It was “sir or ma’am.” The parents exemplified kindness, but were about respecting adults.

During my childhood, my family and I lived on a military base in Germany. The community was close-knit. I suppose how some would compare to a small town, where everyone knows somebody that knows you. However a difference was, just about everyone was from somewhere else, but came together to be home.

It is also important for me to mention Germany because I wouldn’t learn until later in life a difference in meeting someone there versus meeting someone in the USA. In Germany when someone wanted to know who you were, it was likely that they would ask, “Where are you from?” When I moved to the USA at the age of 18, I learned that people often get to know who you are by asking, “What do you do?”

Along with being a military brat, I am also a US Military Veteran. I suppose that time was a necessary stepping stone. I goofed off in high school (some of my most trauma led years) and didn’t have the grades nor discipline to go to college. My military years were equally rewarding and challenging chapters. Those years have shaped me a great deal. It’s left me with some fond connections and like life can, also with some bumps and bruises I’m still working through.

I’ve been an artist of some form in every chapter of my life. Painting, sculpting, sketching, or recently doodling. I’ve created or what I would refer to now as, “express” in various artistic ways all of my life. My creative outlets have become a tool of processing through what is most important for me to share and that is my lifelong battle with mental illness. But again, this is not who I am.

Majority of my life has been plagued by undiagnosed mental illness. For years I unknowingly masked psychological pain with various forms of addictions, until I finally reached my breaking point and attempted suicide in early 2017. After being placed on psych meds, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Major Depressive Disorder. With some (a lot of) resistance I began Psychotherapy. Historically, my mental illness showed as, intense fluctuation of emotions, extreme anger, depressive states, addictions, controlling and obsessive behaviors, and among other things, fear. Even in all of that, with my recent sobriety, I am just now recognizing the depths of how much I internally struggle socializing with people. But again, this is not who I am.

I am not a licensed anything, especially not a mental health professional. As you now know, I am certified mentally ill. I am also transparent, find deep value in speaking openly, and candidly about the intricate process of working through my mental illness. I couldn’t say this several years ago, but now I can say it’s been the most challenging, yet rewarding experience thus far. Six years into therapy, I wouldn’t change “the new me” I’ve gained access to for all the money in the world.

I’m in the forest now. Typing. I never thought that I could love every puzzle piece that has shaped the vibrantly colorful mosaic masterpiece of the essence of my existence. While also recognizing that it is okay that I still struggle with mental illness. No distraction from the truth in that. Just the acoustics of the birds melody and the harmonic breeze of the wind whispering to the trees.

I am learning that the quiet is not to be feared, but embraced. The quiet has become a sacred space. A space without biased noise being thrown about distracting me from what is most important to me now— learning to think for the best interest of my healing self.

I am learning the power of my inner voice and intuition. I am learning that I am still figuring this life thing out. I am learning that I am enjoying getting to know who I am. I am learning the power of forgiveness and the profoundness of introspection. I am learning that I am quamy life experience. I am learning that learning who I am very well may be a life long discovery. I am learning that without working through my toughest layers, I would have never unveiled the layers I value most. But again, this is not who I am.

Who am I?

I am learning.

Who are you?

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2 comentários

23 de ago. de 2023

I love every single piece of you 💛 I'm so grateful to call you my friend and sister

06 de set. de 2023
Respondendo a

✨🫶✨ Ditto lady. I think we all in our own way find who we are. For that I am blessed.

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